Tuesday, April 16, 2013

O, Life, You So Silly

This entry is brought to you by Anna's admitted senioritus and lack of workload due to a boss on paternity leave. I will refrain from my thoughts on this Communist concept and instead address another relevant topic - final day numero dos.

My favorite blogging feature is the right sidebar, as it allows me to revisit past posts and subsequently that point in life. I vividly remember state of mind, setting and at times even clothing worn - a safe default image is sweatpants. There are certain posts I thoroughly enjoy reading since I shamelessly throw myself into hysterical fits, while others conjure the difficult memories related to why I wrote as I did. Regardless the associated emotions, I find it beneficial to reflect on how one may have changed or grown over time, and blogging offers a tangible way to do so.

Congruently, here's a fun game: "Where was I a year ago?" I will play.

Some things will never change. A year ago, I referenced an insatiable craving for ice cream and elation at the prospect of Luke Bryan sweeping me off my feet. A girl can continue to dream, although I will not limit myself to Luke. I would take any rugged country boy with toned arms and a sexy voice.

Outside my fantasies and related to reality, I was transferring my responsibilities at RKG to fellow employees, as my last day was April 13th. I am currently transferring my responsibilities to fellow employees at Musictoday as my last day is today. I will be returning to RKG the 23rd of April. As an objective spectator, this begs the question, "Was it worth leaving?"

I did not use the time in an exotic manner, backpacking Europe or saving Arctic seals. Heck, I did not even go on vacation. The foundation of my illustrious career would appear stronger had I remained; I would be a few rungs higher on the proverbial corporate ladder. I could have foregone emotional breakdowns in the Commonwealth employee bathroom, questioning my choice to be a college graduate waiting tables, and I may have avoided certain pitfalls associated with a search for security.

Still, the answer to the posed question is, "Definitely." The past year seemed simultaneously spastic and deliberate. The world offers a multitude of opportunities for a single, capable lady in her mid-twenties. I battled, and still battle, the persistent ache to be settled, but never to settle. I struggled with the cognitive dissonance between an innate desire for black and white paths and the freedom to, in the distinguished words of Miss Frizzle, "take chances, make mistakes, and get messy." In working through those sentiments, I built valued relationships that would not exist had I remained curled in the comfort of employment. I was forced to confront weaknesses and insecurities, and though I did not emerge unscathed, I emerged with a stronger sense of self. Most importantly, my appreciation for absolute dependence on God to handle life's details grew incredibly.

Ironically enough, He brought me full circle, and I could not be more excited. I will return to a workplace with a great reputation, exceptional management, genius IT department, and coworkers I have missed seeing on a daily basis. I am confident I will grow in ways not previously available. More than that, I can do so while living in a city that I have intentionally made my home.

Where will I be next April? Probably pining over Luke Bryan. Definitely infatuated with ice cream. Rigid, Type A and romantic, Type B mindsets will dwell in a state of controlled juxtaposition. Beyond that, I trust I will be where God leads. I am decidedly content with knowing only that.

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