Monday, July 28, 2014

The Crossfit Total

I know. Two posts in one week; this is unheard of and verging on indulgent. I was considering going to see "Wish I was Here" this evening and fantasizing about Zach Braff - though not really, his thighs are smaller than mine, but I love his quirky personality - but decided it was just too pretty a night to waste in a theater. Given the nature of my previous post, this entry had to be light. I began considering those aspects of life that make me most happy and realized that for all my musings and rantings, I had yet to write about Crossfit.

This is not without reason. After all, with little exception, every article takes one of two stances - Crossfit causes obscure and unnecessary injuries or it revolutionizes your fitness. So what do I have to say? Both. And then, naturally, something more.

I have been injured since joining Crossfit. My callouses broke and the Neosporin stung. I got a rash from excessive thigh chaffage, and rope climbs occasionally give me questionable burns. Every time I do double-unders, I fear kegel exercises will not suffice in containing all within my bladder.* That's not an injury, but it is a nuisance and makes me want to curse at the guy telling me to do faster double-unders. He has no idea.

Honestly, my body has responded extremely well to the programming. The nagging injuries I had in my knee and ankle have dissipated. Even had they not, I would not blame Crossfit. I would blame aging, old fashioned bad luck and my tendency to push myself beyond my limits.

I also claim in a most uncultly manner that Crossfit has revolutionized my fitness. My previous background was nearly fifteen years of tennis, and I have always craved the rush of competition. I was on the court or in the weight room at least five times a week, often more. My coaches, family and a handful of weight room stalkers can attest to my tenacity and dedication. When tennis ended, I maintained my gym routine with similar vigor, but I was not making gains.

Tonight, we recorded the Crossfit Total, your combined max back squat, deadlift and shoulder press. My total was 490 pounds. We performed this same routine in October 2012, and my total was 379. The scoreboard does not lie, mis amigos. I am markedly stronger**, and my speed, agility and stamina have improved as well.

More relevant than either of these is how the gym facilitates continual improvement. It fosters a casually unpretentious and driven community, no matter your skill level. When I first entered, the mechanics of Olympic lifting were completely foreign, and my kettle bell swing was as coordinated as Peyton Manning's dance moves.

It challenges me to leave my comfort zone and learn new movements, attack my lifts and actually talk to the other members.*** The coaches' enthusiasm to instruct and depth of knowledge motivate me to move with increased efficiency and safety. Their consistent support spurs me to work harder and with purpose. Rather than blaring my headphones as I enter, I look forward to authentic conversation with those whose friendship extends beyond the gym.

Fitness was such a huge part of my development growing up; it does not surprise me that it remains so. I am grateful to have happened upon a gym with such a solid core. Now if only Zach Braff would join and get thicker thighs, we could make that fantasy a reality.


* I definitely just scared some people who have never experienced double-unders and gave credence to the stance that Crossfitters are crazy. But I thought it was funny.
** Fear not, I do not look like a muscular lug and still look good in a little blue dress.
*** They probably wish they could get me to shut up now.

Friday, July 25, 2014

On Being Lonely

It's a funny thing, loneliness. I have experienced it during numerous stages at various levels since moving, but I was not anticipating this last bout. Indeed, I am very blessed to have such a strong community in Charlottesville and incredible support in family, but apparently that is not immunizing. It is a quiet loneliness, spurred by various factors, but those really do not matter. What matters is how one confronts it, so I will offer nuggets I have gathered from family, friends and personal exposure. It is certainly not fool proof, but perhaps someone will appreciate another's experience. Plus, that nagging voice compelling me to write will not shut up. Sometimes, I think writing gives the feeling an element of tangibility, for better or worse.

A) Acknowledge the feeling, but do not indulge it. One is entitled to emotions, and they are not crazy. Give them their time, but no more. Perhaps you need a good cry, an IPA, an extravagant sundae or a really long chatsky with a friend. Have that. Then continue.

2) Seek comfort in the right places. There are a lot of easy, immediate sources, but they are also fleeting and unfulfilling. Be cognizant of your motives.

Thirdly) Adjust expectations. Your closest friend has a boyfriend and spends time cultivating that relationship. The job comes with different challenges than you expected. The people you left behind go on living their lives without you. That is natural, and if your stability hinges on these outside factors, you will inevitably be disappointed.

Cuatro) Be thankful. I am grateful for the kindness of others and the strong relationships formed when you allow yourself to be open, and even more so for a family so strong, I still miss them so much.

E) Look at yourself, and be completely honest. At the end of the day, you are only in control of your attitude and actions. Decide what you need to do, and do it intently. For me, answers have ranged from forming new bonds and breaking old ones, to physical outlets to cutting unhealthy habits or thought patterns. Most recently, the answer has been, "be content to go on quietly." Honestly, this is the hardest answer yet because I am an active person, but trusting God to work has been a neat challenge. Slightly annoying, but neat.

6) Then... Get outside yourself, and gain perspective. When I first moved to Charlottesville and in one of our many conversations, my mother told me to volunteer. That was not what selfish post-grad Anna wanted to hear. I wanted pity, but instead I got practical advice.* Incidentally, I started volunteering and have been working with a group of high school girls the past four years, facilitating their growth into young women. Seeing their lives offers a humbling perspective to the blessings in my own life.

It is so easy to be consumed with ourselves and forget that we are not the only ones facing struggles. We begin to compare ourselves to others, the most dangerous and fruitless of slopes. The one lesson that has resounded especially during the past couple months is that everyone has difficulties*; those can be used to help others face them down the road.

Finally) Decide to be happy; smile when you would rather not. Sometimes, life's just hard, for no real reason at all, but in the illustrious words of Jimmy Doogan, "The hard is what makes it great." Yep, I just quoted Remember the Titans and A League of Their Own in one sentence. Dad would be proud.

I hope this does not sound soap boxy. If it did, though, you probably would not have made it to this point. I have a sense this bout is drawing to a close, but for now, thanks for listening.

*Written with the caveat that I do not always follow my own advice.
*I love you, Mom.
*Of course, not everyone blabs about them on the Internet.